If I Had a Rocket Launcher...

"...I'd make somebody pay."

Some years ago I remember that line out of what seemed to be a rather silly song.  The artist's name escapes me.  I imagined a modern day common, everyday Joe vigilante with an RPG launcher perched on his shoulder looking like a stereotypical Taliban fighter except he was wearing jeans, Docksiders and a "Life is Good" t-shirt.  He'd be patrolling the neighborhood, doling out justice via jet propelled high explosives.  Yesterday, I wanted to be him.

Have you ever witnessed something that absolutely made steam burst from your ears...something that pissed you off so much you couldn't possibly wrap your mind around what sort of stupidity could have spawned it?

Yesterday, I got on my bike and took a ride down a recently discovered gravel road that cut through the woods for quite a distance behind our neighborhood.  The path was one of several built by the local utility authority in an undeveloped area in order to run water lines.   The ride began pleasantly enough.  The woods flanked me on both sides.  There were no cars, no people, no houses...just birds, rabbits and the odd snake.  Then I came upon it.

In the middle of the pristine woods sat a monumental pile of someone's household refuse.  An overstuffed sofa presided over the scene, one arm busted off, its outdated floral upholstery mildewed and frayed, exposing the waterlogged stuffing inside.  Joining it were several mangled appliances, a crushed TV, a well used broken recliner and an array of multicolored plastic, broken glass and what appeared to be someone's laundry pile.  Apparently someone had gone to the trouble of loading it, hauling it into the woods and simply dumping it, obviously figuring that their world was better off if they didn't have to look at it.  It would now be someone else's problem.  I would certainly have to look at it more than once if I decided to bike on that particular route with any regularity.

I absolutely couldn't believe that people still did this sort of thing.  I then chastised myself for being so naive.  I remembered as a kid, living in New York City's outermost borough, how nearly every semi-secluded road was often littered with old furniture, green trash bags and the rotting hulks of other large discarded items.  It was common practice to simply dump stuff when it was too inconvenient to bring it to a proper landfill.

I thought in recent years that we, as a society, were more concerned about our environment.  The days of tossing wrappers and garbage out of vehicles seemed to be something long since passed.  I guess not.

I biked on, grumbling expletives.  Not a half mile further, another pile.  This time it was construction debris.  Busted bricks, cinder blocks, old storm windows and door frames.  Worse yet, there wasn't even an attempt to toss it aside.  It sat in the middle of the path, the imprints of truck tires indicated that the road now swerved to the right...around the pile that had clearly been there for some time.  I continued...incredulous.  I was now mentally noting occasional objects that had been wantonly tossed into the woods, peeking from the undergrowth.  A lizard sunned himself on the remains of an aluminum lounge chair, I could make out the front panel of a dishwasher, a tire, an artificial ficus without its pot.  Some items looked recently abandoned while others had clearly been there for awhile.  This was not the work of one person, but many perpetrators over time.  I could feel myself squeezing the trigger on that grenade launcher.... a fiery ignition and immediate explosion incinerating pick up truck, contents, driver and any accomplices...the black sooty smoke and acrid smell of burning tires and sofa cushions filling the air.  My mental revenge exacted, I turned around and headed home...completely disgusted.

I know that in many areas here a bulk trash pickup is free.  Even if I leave things at the curb, most of it will disappear...picked up by metal salvors or folks who just need a couch...any couch.  I've brought stuff to the dump and it isn't expensive to drop it there... so why?  Why are people so damned thoughtless and stupid?

Somebody please tell me.

Excuse me.....Can I borrow that?