We've seen the ads, read the catch phrases and stared with dilated pupils at Certificates of Authenticity.
For more than a decade, I have fielded calls from excited prospects bubbling over about mom's cache of collector plates and dad's precious collection of Franklin Mint presidential medals plated in genuine 24 karat gold. I'm obligated as a professional to tell them the truth. The truth they don't want to hear about how they've fallen prey to slick marketing techniques and that their ship is not about to come in.
The scene replays itself over and over with minor changes in detail.... "Hello...my aunt passed away last month and she left me a complete set of pewter collector spoons she slowly purchased over 9 years. Each month a new one was released and she purchased it so she could have the complete set. They aren't made anymore and she has them all. Each one is themed after a different movie star and many of those stars are now dead so the ones with dead stars on them must be worth more. She kept the boxes and certificates with them. I think each one was $39.95 when it was released and she has 108 of them with the little cabinet that holds them all. I have no need for them and quite honestly my car has been acting up and I'd like to get a nice new car. What do you think I can get for them?"
I take a deep breath and pull the standard response from my mental filing cabinet. I start with the normal apology..."I'm sorry, but they really aren't worth very much. A set like that might bring $40-60 at auction."
I wait. Silence on the other end. It's coming...I know it is.................................."For the whole SET?"
"Yes, for the whole set."
"But she paid thousands for them and she has them all. None are missing. I would consider taking half of what she paid since I really need the money."
My quick mental calculation indicates that this person is looking to net $2,000 for a set worth $60.
I wait a moment...the anger is coming next. I try to explain... "I know she paid a lot for it, but there are thousands of collector spoon sets out there. Everyone knows someone that has one. Unfortunately, nobody is seeking them out and they aren't rare. The company that sold them to her hooked her by saying they might be collectible. They really aren't. You won't get much for them."
"Sixty dollars......for the whole collection?!! That's ridiculous. That's probably what each one is worth now. Are you marketing to the right people? The real collectors must not be coming to your auctions.
The attempt at insulting me fails. This person called me, not the other way around. "I'm sorry, but I can't control demand for these sorts of things. I'd love to get you two grand, but it won't happen...." I close with another gratuitous apology and wonder how many additional phone calls will be made to consignment shops, jewelry stores and pawn shops before reality sets in. It often feels like my job is to dash people's dreams. Nobody wants to admit they were fooled.
Actually, I'm used to these exchanges it but it doesn't change the fact that such a large percentage of our population gets sucked into statements like "...bound to be an heirloom collectible...these are made in limited numbers so get yours today...comes with its own printed certificate and display box....a strict limit of three per buyer since we will break the mold after this production run...collect them all....this is an exclusive offering to collectors only, so call now....each one is clad in real sterling silver."
If I can save one person from the same fate as my typical imaginary caller, my time at the keyboard will be worth it.
Before I break it down, I'll offer a disclaimer. There ARE some things that are manufactured to be collectible that actually are worth something. Usually not a boatload, but something. Some examples include coin sets from the US Mint (not from the Federal National Government Collectors Mint or the Franklin Mint....just the US Mint. The one that makes our money.) Some older Hummels have value (although those have come down, but Hummels date back to the '30's) and a few other things, but 99% of "collectibles" manufactured as such are not worth the material they are made of.
If you think about it, most of the valuable collectibles WEREN'T manufactured with that in mind. Take the earliest Barbies. Nobody knew in the 50's that Barbie would be so popular that she would still be around a half century later. The first ones were just like any other new doll that comes onto the market. It is only the fact that she became so popular that makes the earliest Barbies worth anything. Of course the manufacturer capitalized on this by offering "collectible" Barbies decades later. These were never intended to be played with, but rather something to accumulate numbers of for collectible value. Most aren't worth more than a few dollars and aren't as rare as most people think they are. Because the early Barbies were actually played with, few survived in good condition. This is part of what makes them so rare and valuable.
Lets look at it from a marketer's point of view. I have this great idea for a collectible.....Limited edition lighters with famous race car drivers embossed on them. To sell them, I have to manufacture them first. This takes a lot of money in designing, mock-up, tooling, image licensing and final manufacture plus advertising. For something to be rare, there can't be an awful lot of them floating around, right? But how can I make any money if I only sell a few before ceremoniously smashing the molds with a sledge hammer. The answer is, I have to sell a lot of them! To get around low numbers needed for true rarity, I use terms like "limited edition." Can a run of 10,000,000 be a limited edition? Of course it can. Do I have to number each one with its exact number? No. I can put the number 3,205 on twenty of them if I want (as long as I distribute them widely.) How can I imply desirability? By including a Certificate of Authenticity. This implies that people try to counterfeit these items, so be sure you're getting a real one and not some cheap fake. I can paint a bunch of rocks gold and include a Certificate of Authenticity with each one stating that each is an original creation by me, clad in lustrous gold. I'll have my sister sign the certificate and include a lovely collector box. Do you see where I'm going with this? Does any of it make my rocks valuable? It's hype.
When I see the commercials on TV and the presentations for this crap on QVC, I want to hack. I know somewhere there's a middle aged aunt or someone's father on a fixed income thinking "If I collect these and give them to my kids, they'll have something worth money down the road." What they'll have is a bunch of metal discs stamped with someone's face on them. Rest assured there will be thousands of other people with those worthless discs that cost them bunch of money as well. Don't fall into the trap.
The next time you're sitting in front of the tube with a bag of chips and a commercial for gold plated commemorative stamps comes on and you see suited men removing a pile of them from a vault while telling you how valuable they will likely be, watch for the small print on the bottom of the screen and remember that if you stored your loose change in a vault, it wouldn't make it worth more than face value unless you could convince someone that it was SPECIAL change.
Spread the word.
 |
| We've got a million of 'em. Now all we have to do is figure out how to get suckers....I mean collectors, to buy them. |
No comments:
Post a Comment